Be Grateful to Everybody

“If we were to make a list of the people we don’t like – people we find obnoxious, threatening or worthy of contempt – we would find much about ourselves that we can’t face.  If we were to come up with one word about each of the troublemakers in our lives, we would find ourselves with a list of descriptions of our own rejected qualities.  We project these on the outside world.

The people who repel us unwittingly show us aspects of ourselves that we find unacceptable, which otherwise we can’t see.  Traditional Lojong teachings say it another way:  other people trigger the karma we haven’t worked out.  They mirror us and give us a chance to befriend all of that ancient stuff we carry around like a backpack full of granite boulders.

‘Be grateful to everyone’ is a way of saying that we can learn from any situation, especially if we practice this slogan with awareness.  The people and situations in our lives can remind us to catch neurosis as neurosis – to see when we’ve pulled the shades, locked the doors, and crawled under the covers.”

From:  Comfortable with Uncertainty, by Pema Chodron

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“Empathy doesn’t involve feeling sorry for someone.  It is our honest answer to the question, “why did they do what they did?”  The useful answer is rarely, “because they’re stupid.”  Or even, “because they’re evil.”  In fact, most of the time, people with similar beliefs and similar apparent choices will choose similar actions.

So if you want to know why someone does what they do, start with what they know, what they believe and where they came from.

Dismissing actions we don’t admire merely because we don’t care enough to have empathy is rarely going to help us make the change we seek. It doesn’t help us understand, and it creates a gulf that drives us apart.”

– Seth Godin

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“People often say ‘I’m sorry’ when they mean ‘thank you’.”

– A Client (You may need to sit with this one for a moment before it makes sense.)

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“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: The only ones among you who will be truly happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.”

-Albert Schweitzer

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“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

-Victor Frankl

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“It has always surprised me how small a part of life is taken up by meaningful moments. Most of them are over before they start, although they cast a light on the future, and make the person who originated them unforgettable.”

-From Anna and The King, The Movie

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“You are creative, resourceful and whole—now.”

-Coaching Training Int’l

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“Anxiety is the gap between what is, and what I think it should be or wish it was.”

-Unknown

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Revised serenity prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know that one is me.”

-Unknown

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“God regards with merciful eyes not what you are nor what you have been, but what you wish to be.”

-The Cloud of Unknowing

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“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

-Steve Jobs

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“Passion is caring enough about your art that you will do almost anything to give it away, to make it a gift, to change people.”

-Seth Godin

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“Which are you…competent, inspiring, passionate, obsessed, provocative, impatient, hungry, driven, adoring, inspired, an artist, a genius, someone who cares…? With all these remarkable, powerful, important options available to each of us, why do so many of us default to competent?”

-Seth Godin

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“I learned early on that if I help enough people, the money will come.”

-Dave Ramsey

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“Our task is not to look for love, but to see the barriers within ourselves that we have built against it.”

-Rumi or A Course in Miracles?

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“The essence of mindfulness is being open, accepting and curious.”

-Unknown

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“When we stop labeling things, we’re free to one day like this, another day like that.”

-Unknown

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“Wouldn’t it be great to be gifted? In fact…it turns out that choices lead to habits. Habits become talents. Talents are labeled gifts. You’re not born this way, you get this way.”

-Seth Godin