Seedlings …A Solid Path to a (mostly) Sane Life

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Boundaries can help us love each other better

July 8, 2018 People often use the word “boundaries” without knowing exactly what a boundary is. Or they think a boundary is a wall.  Not necessarily.  That’s all I’m  going to say about walls today! My favorite definition is that boundaries are internal understandings that help us love each other… Read more

Want a different life? Set three intentions.

June 24, 2018 If you want a different life, here is a recipe.  It’s mostly practical, with a little magic thrown in. 1. Be like Ghandi.  He said:  “Be the change that you want to see in the world.” There may be other ways to change the world.  But starting from… Read more

If You Want a Rich Life, Keep it Personal

June 10, 2018 I work in a field that involves my heart.  Not the organ, but rather the emotional center of me. As a psychotherapist I’ve been trained and advised and encouraged to not let it get personal.  When I hear things like that I’m struck by the irony that… Read more

5 simple strategies to get the cooperation you want

May 27, 2018 “If you can’t explain it to a 6 year old, you don’t understand it yourself.”  Albert Einstein Einstein’s wisdom seems compatible with a communication faux pas I discovered when my son was around 14.  I was kvetching about something that was disappointing me (about him).  When I stopped… Read more

How not to die before your time

May 13, 2018 I’ve been toying with the idea of writing a memoir.  I haven’t gotten very far.  I got caught up in the idea that what seems most important to me at the moment is not what I have done, or been through, but rather what I have learned. … Read more

Want to Know How to Rein in the Monkey in Your Mind?

April 29, 2018 When you’re feeling uncomfortable emotions, this is a quick, easy way to come back to yourself. NOTICE THE DISCOMFORT You know when something feels off.  (In fact we’re better at noticing when something’s wrong than when things are right.) We all have a monkey in our mind,… Read more

Imagine This is the Last Day of Your Life

April 15, 2018 You’ve heard this question before.  It may have resonated, but then you went on with your day, not paying it more attention than that.  Consider taking a moment now to be with it in a different, more thoughtful, way — it may be one of the most… Read more

How to Love the One You Have

… not the one in the romance novel.   April 1, 2018 What’s at the core of our relationship problems?  What keeps us from loving, and from feeling loved?  What gets in the way of the closeness and connectedness that every one of us profoundly wants? WE WANT THEM TO… Read more

How to Be a Curious Scientist and Reduce Your Pain

… and anything else that’s bothering you. March 18, 2018 You’ve tried everything you can think of to feel happy with yourself exactly as you are.  You’ve listened to the podcasts, read the blogs, and taken courses about loving yourself. But no matter how much you read about somebody else’s… Read more

How to Be an Uncommonly Mature Adult

March 5, 2018 “When we don’t get what we want, and we believe our thoughts and concepts about other people or events we tend to be manipulative, and our life has little compassion.  A life of compassion is non manipulative.  We don’t try to change anyone other than ourself.”   … Read more