But keep going even when it’s hard, especially when it’s hard, because that’s how you grow up. January 2, 2022 If I told you that my default is to think about running away when I’m frustrated, that would be true. But you wouldn’t begin to understand the depth of feeling that I want to …
How to Make Decisions You Won’t Regret
Consider Three Things Before Doing Something Stupid. December 19, 2021 You have a decision to make — and you want a guarantee it’s the right one. Intellectually you know that’s nuts, but emotionally you want it anyway. So, when you don’t get a guarantee, maybe you don’t decide anything. Or you figure, screw …
Is Meditation Enough?
Without understanding, meditation practice can degenerate to profound self-absorption or escapism. December 5, 2021 Many years ago, I had a first-time meet with a new client. He was excited about having been immersed in Buddhism and meditation for approximately six months. He asserted that he was now a completely different person, calm, peaceful, …
How to Not Waste Another Year
Instead of making New Year’s resolutions, decide how you want to feel. November 21, 2021 Stasia Savasuk, presenter and internet style coach for everyday women, says the three top New Year’s resolutions in 2021 were: 1. Exercise more 2. Improve Diet 3. Lose Weight Then she says, guess what they were in 2020, …
The Single Most Important Factor in Your Search for Love
It’s not about finding your soul mate. November 7, 2021 Your partner is not you. We all know them — couples who incessantly bicker about how things should be done. Or the ones who’ve given up, detached to China because they haven’t learned how to solve problems or deal with differences. Many relationships that matter to …
How to Stop Sabotaging Your Ability to Change
Accept yourself just as you are. October 24, 2021 That curious paradox — the only way we can change is to first accept ourselves just as we are — was identified by Carl Rogers, the father of humanistic psychology. Rogers spoke from personal experience. He wasn’t loftily trying to fix broken people. He was …
As Children, We Are Groomed in the Image of Our Parents
Discover how it is affecting you as an adult. October 10 To know ourselves today, we can return to the beginning. To understand why we do what we do, we must first greet our much younger selves. Then we can tease out the adult behaviors that no longer serve us and replace them …
The Number One Thing that Will Make or Break Your Relationships
Without it, you’ll feel like something is missing. September 26, 2021 In my experience, after physical safety, the number one challenge to healthy relationships is a lack of emotional safety. In working with individuals and couples — and with myself — I see it over and over. It’s the off-limit topics that make relationships feel unsafe. It’s …
Openness and Curiosity Are Super Powers
Use them to transform your little corner of the world. September 12, 2021 “You will never be more powerful or peaceful than when you are completely vulnerable, with nothing to defend.” Unknown I don’t know if I read that quote or made it up many years ago, but it has to some degree …
How to Confidently Pick the Right Partner
Revise your understanding of who you need to trust. September 5, 2021 As a psychotherapist, I often hear, “He’s only after one thing, and it’s not a permanent commitment,” or “She’s only after one thing, and I can’t afford it.” My response in both cases is similar — there are plenty of trustworthy people out there …