August 4, 2019 Viewing closure as a myth is difficult. Closure implies that we will somehow understand and make sense of something that we weren’t ready for. The truth is that we will all have more losses than we can count, and we will be unable to make sense of many of them. We think …
Why Failure is Not an Enemy You Need to Fear
July 21, 2019 What makes us withhold ourselves from each other and from life? What keeps us from being totally “in?” That’s easy. It’s the what ifs. What if I fail? What if I look like a fool? What if I fail? What if I don’t know how to do it? What if I fail? …
What Do You Hunger For?
July 7, 2019 Now here is my secret. It is very simple. It is only with one’s heart that one can see clearly. What is essential is invisible to the eye. — Antoine De Saint-Exupery I hunger for truth. I hunger for kindness. I hunger for friendships that are both comforting and illuminating. I hunger …
Emotional First Aid: Go for the Feeling, Not the Thing
June 23, 2019 Getting things (and the hunt for them) can be exhilarating. Chasing the newest toy, fanciest car, biggest house, post gone viral, more followers and likes — all can generate a short-term feeling of excitement and even euphoria. Actualization of our desires can add sparkle and entertainment. However, that approach can also make …
What’s So Powerful about Presence, and Why Should You Care?
June 9, 2019 I’ve been studying presence my entire adult life, because it gives me more of what I want — deeper connections with other human beings. Have you ever wondered: what draws us to certain people? And what draws others to us? Our first thought might be status, or power, or celebrity. Sure, at …
Emotional Pain, Friend or Foe?
May 26, 2019 We human beings are hard-wired to avoid pain and seek pleasure. With regard to emotional pain, that begs the question is there any possibility of changing our negative relationship with it? Is there a way to avoid it less so that we can benefit more from the lessons it offers? I think …
Thinking Is Not Doing
May 12, 2019 “One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the thing you’ve always wanted to do. Do it now.” – Paulo Coelho Life can be hard. Sometimes it’s easier to think about what we want to do, than to actually do it. Sometimes we get thinking and …
Relax, You’re Probably Not Too Judgmental
April 28, 2019 “Your opinions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.” Unknown Judging is an essential part of being human, although it has developed a bad rap. I often hear people express the idea that they don’t want to be, or worse, …
It’s Hard to Talk About the Things That Matter
April 14, 2019 “There is no passion in playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”–Nelson Mandela In our most intimate relationships we often dance over, under, and around the things that matter to us. We wonder why our relationships are so hard and …
Anger is a tricky emotion
March 31, 2019 “You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger.” –Buddha We used to think the best way to manage our anger was to express it, ideally in a way that didn’t physically or emotionally harm someone else. For instance, getting in the car or shower and …