Consider three ideas for a fresh take on your life. May 16, 2021 A change in perspective can turn a lusterless, seemingly empty life into a rich, bold experience if you let it. Ask yourself, “What ideas are shaping my life?” Whatever your answers, ask yourself a second question: “Are they taking me where …
When Your Reaction to an Experience Causes More Pain than the Experience
You know you’ve shot a second arrow. May 2, 2021 Years ago, I came back from a ten-day retreat that felt life-changing. I was overflowing and wanted to share it with a friend. After a few minutes, she said, in essence, that’s nice, and began to share her troubles with a married man …
Being Quiet Occasionally
April 18, 2021 I originally published this post in 2015. It generated a lot of email responses and comments–which, incidentally, I love to get. Please keep them coming. The last six years have brought monumental changes to my life and the world. But one thing hasn’t changed. Too often, I still forget to be quiet. …
Using Anger to Replace Other Uncomfortable Feelings is a Dead-end Street
It’s like putting up a fence to keep out the air. April 4, 2021 Using Anger as a Cover-Up Emotion Most of us didn’t learn how to allow ourselves to feel afraid or vulnerable. We did, however, learn how to cover our fears and vulnerabilities with anger because that made us feel powerful. Often, …
You Don’t Have to Meditate to Become Your Best Self
There is an alternative. March 21, 2021 Just breathe. I’m a meditator. I teach meditation. And sometimes, for weeks in a row, I don’t get on the cushion and meditate. There, I’ve said it. But what I do every day is breathe. And I do it in a way that kicks my vagus …
All We Need is Attention
To make the world a lot less lonely. March 7, 2021 “Those who are unhappy have no need for anything in the world, but people capable of giving them their attention.” Simone Weil Some of us are living in a crisis of conscience. We are ashamed that we haven’t done more to …
Without Patience, All Other Qualities Are Shaky
To develop patience, practice the pause. February 21, 2021 When you’ve been trapped at home with your family for months, drained of compassion by the Groundhog Day experience that has piggy-backed on Covid, the antidote to wanting to leave your children to fend for themselves is patience. We want to be compassionate and loving, …
We Tell Stories not Only to Find Ourselves
We tell them to find and connect with, each other. January 7, 2021 If I told you when I was eighteen, my mom, my little brother and sister, and I moved from Troy, Tennessee, to Chicago, you would know a fact about my family. Still, you wouldn’t know me. But you might know me a …
Want More Peace?
Loosen the Iron Grip You’ve had on Some of Your Thoughts. January 24, 2021 Thoughts aren’t a problem — until we assume our ideas and opinions represent facts. THOUGHTS ARE NOT FACTS Just because somebody doesn’t wave back, it doesn’t mean they hate us, or we suck. Maybe they didn’t see us. Professor Froehling …
Will This Year Be Better for You than the Last One?
One predictor will be how you answer that question. January 9, 2021 Climate change will still be haunting and challenging us. Covid-19, injustice, and discrimination aren’t going away any time soon. Nevertheless, the quality of this year will, in actuality, be a reflection of our attitudes and perspectives. We are self-reflective creatures. We see …