November 24, 2019 “Love, what life is all about.” — Leo Buscaglia In the United States, unlike some other countries like Poland — where they have different words for loving people, vs food, vs objects — we use the word “love” for everything from how we feel about our romantic partner, our children, and our friends, …
Healthy Boundaries Keep Us Sane
November 10, 2019 What the heck is a boundary, anyway? It reminds me of the somewhat polar term, codependency, a word thrown around so loosely that its meaning has been watered down to become almost meaningless. Wikipedia defines personal boundaries as “guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible …
Take Settling Off the Table!
October 27, 2019 This post isn’t about me, although I’m using examples from my life. It’s about everybody who’s ever felt trapped in a life they didn’t consciously design, and they want more. When we tolerate living in a world where we are getting less than what we want, well . . . that’s what …
Confidential – You Will Never Be Perfect!
But it’s Okay. October 13, 2019 One of the most significant discoveries of the 20th century is that our brains are subject to change. For centuries we believed we were stuck with what we got. Meaning if we didn’t have our acts together by the time we were five-years-old, we would go through life with …
Complaining is not Conversation
September 29, 2019 “Complaining is finding faults. Wisdom is finding solutions.” — Ajahn Brahm The other night I was out to dinner, and I did it again! Tried to build a case about the injustices in the world. I was making my case with someone who already knows my position and could probably repeat it …
You Are Bigger Than What is Happening Around You
September 15, 2019 “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”—Margaret Mead There have been acts of barbarism since the beginning of time. What we’re seeing today isn’t a new phenomenon. I suspect it seems new, or maybe worse is a …
Fear Isn’t the Problem, but Our Belief That It Is May Be Killing Us.
September 1, 2019 We all have fears. We have fears of which we’re aware, and then we have fears that we are so afraid of feeling we don’t even allow them to surface and peek through. I write from experience. I have recently been going through a really stressful time. And nothing is terribly wrong. …
In Self-Awareness, the Cracks Are What Matter
August 18, 2019 Self-awareness, especially of our flaws, can be a gift or curse. It’s tricky. Self-awareness as a gift can save us from drowning in self-righteousness. It can keep us humble and approachable and able to feel compassion for the foibles of others along with our own. As Leonard Cohen offered in his poignant song, …
Closure is a Myth, and Grief is a Necessity
August 4, 2019 Viewing closure as a myth is difficult. Closure implies that we will somehow understand and make sense of something that we weren’t ready for. The truth is that we will all have more losses than we can count, and we will be unable to make sense of many of them. We think …
Why Failure is Not an Enemy You Need to Fear
July 21, 2019 What makes us withhold ourselves from each other and from life? What keeps us from being totally “in?” That’s easy. It’s the what ifs. What if I fail? What if I look like a fool? What if I fail? What if I don’t know how to do it? What if I fail? …