July 22, 2018 What would the world look like if it were shepherded by heart AND mind? I read a commencement speech by Pancho Ramos Stierle to the San Francisco Waldorf High School Class of 2018. He coined the term heartmindfulness. He seems to understand, with a piercing awareness, the frailty and fragility of our …
Boundaries can help us love each other better
July 8, 2018 People often use the word “boundaries” without knowing exactly what a boundary is. Or they think a boundary is a wall. Not necessarily. That’s all I’m going to say about walls today! My favorite definition is that boundaries are internal understandings that help us love each other better. So you see, boundaries are …
Want a different life? Set three intentions.
June 24, 2018 If you want a different life, here is a recipe. It’s mostly practical, with a little magic thrown in. 1. Be like Ghandi. He said: “Be the change that you want to see in the world.” There may be other ways to change the world. But starting from that premise, changing me, not …
If You Want a Rich Life, Keep it Personal
June 10, 2018 I work in a field that involves my heart. Not the organ, but rather the emotional center of me. As a psychotherapist I’ve been trained and advised and encouraged to not let it get personal. When I hear things like that I’m struck by the irony that if the work I do …
5 simple strategies to get the cooperation you want
May 27, 2018 “If you can’t explain it to a 6 year old, you don’t understand it yourself.” Albert Einstein Einstein’s wisdom seems compatible with a communication faux pas I discovered when my son was around 14. I was kvetching about something that was disappointing me (about him). When I stopped to take a breath, I …
How not to die before your time
May 13, 2018 I’ve been toying with the idea of writing a memoir. I haven’t gotten very far. I got caught up in the idea that what seems most important to me at the moment is not what I have done, or been through, but rather what I have learned. As I was playing with …
Want to Know How to Rein in the Monkey in Your Mind?
April 29, 2018 When you’re feeling uncomfortable emotions, this is a quick, easy way to come back to yourself. NOTICE THE DISCOMFORT You know when something feels off. (In fact we’re better at noticing when something’s wrong than when things are right.) We all have a monkey in our mind, leading us on endless chases …
Imagine This is the Last Day of Your Life
April 15, 2018 You’ve heard this question before. It may have resonated, but then you went on with your day, not paying it more attention than that. Consider taking a moment now to be with it in a different, more thoughtful, way — it may be one of the most powerful questions you’ll ever ask …
How to Love the One You Have
… not the one in the romance novel. April 1, 2018 What’s at the core of our relationship problems? What keeps us from loving, and from feeling loved? What gets in the way of the closeness and connectedness that every one of us profoundly wants? WE WANT THEM TO BE OTHER THAN THEY ARE. …
How to Be a Curious Scientist and Reduce Your Pain
… and anything else that’s bothering you. March 18, 2018 You’ve tried everything you can think of to feel happy with yourself exactly as you are. You’ve listened to the podcasts, read the blogs, and taken courses about loving yourself. But no matter how much you read about somebody else’s successes, you can’t lose the …