Revise your understanding of who you need to trust. September 5, 2021 As a psychotherapist, I often hear, “He’s only after one thing, and it’s not a permanent commitment,” or “She’s only after one thing, and I can’t afford it.” My response in both cases is similar — there are plenty of trustworthy people out there …
If Your Goal Is to Change Everybody Else, Think Twice
Because everybody you try to change will likely avoid you. August 22, 2021 Ever spend time around someone who is out to change the world, and that includes you? Byron Katie, a present-day philosopher and author, says, “There are three kinds of business in the world: God’s business, everybody else’s business, and our business. She …
How to Cultivate True Humility
And why the effort is worth it. August 8, 2021 Humility can be a slippery concept. When clients describe themselves as humble, my first thought is often, hmmm, I wonder, is that true? When we’re sure we’ve arrived at humility, we need to be careful that what we’re experiencing isn’t arrogance. Arrogance is a …
Three Ways Resistance Can Sabotage Your Goals
And how you’ll know you’re making progress. July 25, 2021 As Byron Katie, philosopher and author of Loving What Is says: “If you argue with reality, you will only lose 100 percent of the time.” Life hands you something you don’t want or doesn’t give you something you do want. It’s human to …
How to Get What You Want
Be prepared to change your mind. June 27, 2021 Whether you’re fifteen or eighty, you can identify a want and set out to achieve it at any stage of life. You start with one step in the direction of that goal. And then take another one, and another, until you’re going full steam ahead. …
It’s Okay to Feel Like an Idiot
That doesn’t mean you are one. June 13, 2021 Let me count the ways I’ve felt I acted like an idiot or thought I appeared to be an idiot. No, I won’t because they’re endless. Whether I looked like an idiot or just felt like one, my take-away from those experiences is that I …
My Will, Not Thy Will, Is Where We’re At
And it’s not working. May 30, 2021 We’d all be a lot happier if we learned this in grammar school — just because we believe something doesn’t mean it’s true! At some point, whether we’re co-working, co-habitating, or simply co-existing on the planet, eventually our wants will clash with someone else’s. And then what? When we …
A Change in Perspective Can Make All the Difference
Consider three ideas for a fresh take on your life. May 16, 2021 A change in perspective can turn a lusterless, seemingly empty life into a rich, bold experience if you let it. Ask yourself, “What ideas are shaping my life?” Whatever your answers, ask yourself a second question: “Are they taking me where …
When Your Reaction to an Experience Causes More Pain than the Experience
You know you’ve shot a second arrow. May 2, 2021 Years ago, I came back from a ten-day retreat that felt life-changing. I was overflowing and wanted to share it with a friend. After a few minutes, she said, in essence, that’s nice, and began to share her troubles with a married man …
Being Quiet Occasionally
April 18, 2021 I originally published this post in 2015. It generated a lot of email responses and comments–which, incidentally, I love to get. Please keep them coming. The last six years have brought monumental changes to my life and the world. But one thing hasn’t changed. Too often, I still forget to be quiet. …