November 29, 2020 Hint: It’s not the candy’s fault if I overdo it. It’s not Covid-19. It’s not capitalism or socialism. It’s not the control freaks in my life. It’s not conservatives or liberals. It’s not my nomadic childhood. It’s not pro-lifers or pro-choicers. And I’m not to blame either. Let’s throw out the …
Autopilot Won’t Take You Where You Want to Go
November 15, 2020 In my last post, I quoted Holocaust survivor and brilliant psychiatrist Victor Frankl. I think his wisdom bears repeating: “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Many years ago, I quit two jobs in …
Three Steps to Avoid a Conflict
November 1, 2020 Mature listening involves three things when you are in disagreement with someone about anything. I’ve been studying listening most of my adult life, and I still don’t have it nailed. I’m writing this post to myself, but I hope you’ll relate. Since I don’t have all that much time left — at least not …
You’re Dying–We All Are
October 18, 2020 If you knew you were dying, what would you choose to do with every day you had left? Whether you have twenty, forty, or sixty years — even though sixty years sounds like a long time — it will glide past like the Shanghai Magiev in China that cruises by at 267.8 …
Turn Complaints Into Accomplishments
October 4, 2020 The boss is incompetent, the guy who voted for the “wrong” candidate is a moron, the child who isn’t taking the career path of your choice is a disappointment. And the state of the world in general, don’t even start! It’s so easy to see what’s wrong with the world and everyone …
Using Mindfulness to Reduce Physical Discomfort
September 19, 2020 This post was originally posted in early 2017. I moved last weekend and rather than skip a publication date, I updated this post that seemed to be a favorite. Hope that you enjoy it. If you want to reduce your suffering, change your relationship to pain. The idea is that by changing …
How to Stop Letting Fear of Discomfort Keep You Stuck
September 5, 2020 We get unstuck when we meet life on life’s terms. Because impermanence is one of the few things we can count on, discomfort is, to our dismay, part of the human condition. In spite of our spiritual leanings and our beliefs about an afterlife, the idea of impermanence keeps us off-center. We …
Be Unapologetically Honest
August 23, 2020 But do it with kindness. “Wisdom is not merely something to be gained with old age. One can be wise in every stage of one’s life. To manifest wisdom means simply to step back and see.”–Seido Ray Ronci, “The Examined Life” Years ago, I began to question the idea that honesty is …
If You Want to Make a Difference, Be Purposeful in Where You Put Your Attention
August 9, 2020 We don’t have to be famous, wealthy, or brilliant to make a difference. If enough of us regular people hang together, we can change the world. But before we can do that, we need to make conscious decisions about where we’re going to put our attention, and in what we’ll invest our …
What Do You Want People to Say about You When You’re Not in the Room?
July 26, 2020 Figure out what you long to experience and let that be your guide. In an On Being article, Our Inescapable Selves, blogger Courtney E. Martin asked herself a question. “What are three things you want people to say about you when you’re not in the room?” I loved the idea of this exercise, and since …