Hmmm, is that always true? November 27, 2022 Out of everything we hold dear, time may be our most precious thing. Do you want to waste even a little of it on doing everything perfectly at the expense of getting better and better at what matters to you? Practicing psychologist and writer Daniel Gottlieb, …
Seedlings
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Don’t Confuse Self-Absorption with Self-Reflection
How to make sure that doesn’t happen. November 13, 2022 Both self-absorption and self-reflection require attention to our inner world. But that’s where the similarity ends. Self-reflection is about honestly exploring how you behave, not so much about how you feel. Instead, it’s seriously considering your character, actions, and motives, and then telling yourself …
Three Unique Listening Skills to Make People Feel Validated
Earn their trust and become truly helpful by learning to listen rather than trying to fix. October 30, 2022 Your child, who you love more than anything else, is experiencing painful feelings. Of course, you want to protect them — make the bad feelings disappear. So you tell them you’ll buy them a puppy. Or you tell …
Eight Ways to Increase Your Patience Until it Comes Naturally
Fake it till you make it with these patience hacks. October 16, 2022 Are you the most impatient person you know? Do you have a thirty second fuse before you lose your mind? I am one of the most impatient people I know. At the same time, I’m not a total jerk about it. I …
Two Critical Things You Need to Know Before You Can Live Together in Peace
And one particular skill that will change every relationship you have. October 2, 2022 You fell in love. Heaven smiled down on you. There was nothing the two of you couldn’t accomplish together — an unbeatable team. One was witty, kind, and caring. The other was responsible and thoughtful. One of you …
How to Create Emotional Intimacy in Your Relationships
Spoiler: it’s not have more sex. September 18, 2022 I’m back after a relaxing and renewing summer! I’m looking forward to sharing more on relationships–all stuff I’ve either learned through my own trial and error or through my clients’ generosity in sharing their lives with me. Insulting your partner is damaging. …
18 Questions to Answer Before You Make a Long-Term Commitment
The only things you need to talk about with your partner are the things you believe you can’t talk about. July 10, 2022 For the first time in eleven years of writing and posting Seedlings (almost) every other Sunday morning, I’m going to take a brief summer break. I’ll see you again in September! I …
How to Handle Insecurity so it Works For You, not Against You.
Stop running away from it — stare it straight in the face, and use it. June 19, 2022 Facing feelings of insecurity is like asking someone to stab themself in the eye with a pencil. Who wants to see characteristics that can come from insecurity, much less confront them? Negative self-image. Perfectionism. Jealousy. Isolation. Emotional dependence. Bullying. …
How to Use the Big Squeeze to Your, and Everybody Else’s, Advantage
Build a better business, a better family, a better world. May 30, 2022 For a couple of days, I lost my mind. Well, I didn’t lose it; I misplaced my brain’s managing partner. Before I figured it out, I was sleeping poorly and noticed my resting heart rate was going up. I felt tired, …
How to Live a Big Life
Learn to take reasonable risks and use lots of discretion in listening to others’ advice. May 22, 2022 Living a big life takes courage. To over and over stand at the edge of a metaphorical cliff and take a step, not knowing the exact outcome. Each time you take a reasonable risk, you …