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The Number One Thing that Will Make or Break Your Relationships

  Without it, you’ll feel like something is missing.   September 26, 2021   In my experience, after physical safety, the number one challenge to healthy relationships is a lack of emotional safety. In working with individuals and couples — and with myself — I see it over and over. It’s the off-limit topics that make relationships feel unsafe. It’s …

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Openness and Curiosity Are Super Powers

Use them to transform your little corner of the world.   September 12, 2021   “You will never be more powerful or peaceful than when you are completely vulnerable, with nothing to defend.” Unknown   I don’t know if I read that quote or made it up many years ago, but it has to some degree …

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How to Confidently Pick the Right Partner

Revise your understanding of who you need to trust.   September 5, 2021 As a psychotherapist, I often hear, “He’s only after one thing, and it’s not a permanent commitment,” or “She’s only after one thing, and I can’t afford it.” My response in both cases is similar — there are plenty of trustworthy people out there …

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If Your Goal Is to Change Everybody Else, Think Twice

Because everybody you try to change will likely avoid you. August 22, 2021   Ever spend time around someone who is out to change the world, and that includes you? Byron Katie, a present-day philosopher and author, says, “There are three kinds of business in the world: God’s business, everybody else’s business, and our business. She …

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How to Cultivate True Humility

And why the effort is worth it.   August 8, 2021   Humility can be a slippery concept. When clients describe themselves as humble, my first thought is often, hmmm, I wonder, is that true? When we’re sure we’ve arrived at humility, we need to be careful that what we’re experiencing isn’t arrogance. Arrogance is a …

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Three Ways Resistance Can Sabotage Your Goals

And how you’ll know you’re making progress.   July 25, 2021   As Byron Katie, philosopher and author of Loving What Is says: “If you argue with reality, you will only lose 100 percent of the time.” Life hands you something you don’t want or doesn’t give you something you do want. It’s human to …

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How to Get What You Want

Be prepared to change your mind.   June 27, 2021 Whether you’re fifteen or eighty, you can identify a want and set out to achieve it at any stage of life. You start with one step in the direction of that goal. And then take another one, and another, until you’re going full steam ahead. …

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It’s Okay to Feel Like an Idiot

That doesn’t mean you are one.   June 13, 2021 Let me count the ways I’ve felt I acted like an idiot or thought I appeared to be an idiot. No, I won’t because they’re endless. Whether I looked like an idiot or just felt like one, my take-away from those experiences is that I …

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My Will, Not Thy Will, Is Where We’re At

And it’s not working. May 30, 2021   We’d all be a lot happier if we learned this in grammar school — just because we believe something doesn’t mean it’s true! At some point, whether we’re co-working, co-habitating, or simply co-existing on the planet, eventually our wants will clash with someone else’s. And then what? When we …

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