September 15, 2019 “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”—Margaret Mead I grew up surrounded by a little bit of crazy. It prepared me to deal with a world that is imperfect but in some respects, mostly well-meaning. We’ve faced …
Fear Isn’t the Problem
September 1, 2019 Fear isn’t the problem, but our belief that it is may be killing us. We all have fears. We have fears of which we’re aware, and then we have fears that we are so afraid of feeling we don’t even allow them to surface and peek through. I write from experience. I …
In Self-Awareness, it’s the Cracks that Matter
August 18, 2019 Self-awareness, especially of our flaws, can be a gift or curse. It’s tricky. Self-awareness as a gift can save us from drowning in self-righteousness. It can keep us humble and approachable and able to feel compassion for the foibles of others along with our own. As Leonard Cohen offered in his poignant song, …
Closure is a Myth, and Grief is a Necessity
August 4, 2019 Viewing closure as a myth is difficult. Closure implies that we will somehow understand and make sense of something that we weren’t ready for. The truth is that we will all have more losses than we can count, and we will be unable to make sense of many of them. We think …
Why Failure is Not an Enemy You Need to Fear
July 21, 2019 What makes us withhold ourselves from each other and from life? What keeps us from being totally “in?” That’s easy. It’s the what ifs. What if I fail? What if I look like a fool? What if I fail? What if I don’t know how to do it? What if I fail? …
What Do You Hunger For?
July 7, 2019 Now here is my secret. It is very simple. It is only with one’s heart that one can see clearly. What is essential is invisible to the eye. — Antoine De Saint-Exupery I hunger for truth. I hunger for kindness. I hunger for friendships that are both comforting and illuminating. I hunger …
Emotional First Aid: Go for the Feeling, Not the Thing
June 23, 2019 Getting things (and the hunt for them) can be exhilarating. Chasing the newest toy, fanciest car, biggest house, post gone viral, more followers and likes — all can generate a short-term feeling of excitement and even euphoria. Actualization of our desires can add sparkle and entertainment. However, that approach can also make …
What’s So Powerful about Presence, and Why Should You Care?
June 9, 2019 I’ve been studying presence my entire adult life, because it gives me more of what I want — deeper connections with other human beings. Have you ever wondered: what draws us to certain people? And what draws others to us? Our first thought might be status, or power, or celebrity. Sure, at …
Emotional Pain, Friend or Foe?
May 26, 2019 We human beings are hard-wired to avoid pain and seek pleasure. With regard to emotional pain, that begs the question is there any possibility of changing our negative relationship with it? Is there a way to avoid it less so that we can benefit more from the lessons it offers? I think …
Thinking Is Not Doing
May 12, 2019 “One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the thing you’ve always wanted to do. Do it now.” – Paulo Coelho Life can be hard. Sometimes it’s easier to think about what we want to do, than to actually do it. Sometimes we get thinking and …