July 7, 2019
Now here is my secret. It is very simple. It is only with one’s heart that one can see clearly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.
— Antoine De Saint-Exupery
I hunger for truth.
I hunger for kindness.
I hunger for friendships that are both comforting and illuminating.
I hunger for intimacy and the courage to express and share it with kindred spirits.
I hunger for humility and the ability to use my relationships as mirrors for my blind spots.
I hunger for laughter and lightness of spirit.
I hunger for the courage to drop my defenses and trust myself to take care of myself in healthy ways.
Hungers and longings can be tools to help us remember who we are and what we want to experience and contribute. Today, I offer you a few questions that have taken me down new paths several times. They’ve guided and sometimes subtly pushed me into important career and relationship changes. They’ve led me to adventures that today feel like stories that other people would tell — like the one where in my twenties my partner and I left jobs to camp around the country for three months, sleeping on the ground, cooking over a campfire, and hiking up and down the Grand Canyon. That trip is one of my fondest memories.
Play with the questions, holding them lightly. Allow for more than one answer. Capture and save your ideas. What is a playful experiment now may at some point create a monumental change in your life.
What really matters to me?
What do I regret not trying?
What has made me feel excited in the last thirty days?
What have I done that left me feeling flat in the last thirty days?
Once you’ve answered the questions, go back and ask yourself:
What do I hunger for?
Again, capture your answers. These are your flashlight into who you really are and what you really want, whatever your stage of life.
If nothing comes to you, do what Einstein did. He never went to bed without giving his brain a problem to solve while he was sleeping. Our unconscious wants to help us have the life we want, but we need to give it instructions that will take us where we want to go.
Before you fall asleep, ask your mind to answer the question: what do I hunger for? It may be a day or a week or six weeks before an answer bubbles to the surface. Keep asking and allowing your mind to work for you.
Vast percentages of our lives pass us by unnoticed because we don’t pay enough attention to what we hunger for. It’s easy to fall into survival mode, focused on simply getting through the day. We may notice a fleeting longing, but don’t stop to give it the attention it deserves. Don’t let another day pass by without fully engaging with the life you want.
Pick something you have been afraid to try. Take a class, apologize to someone important, offer a contrasting opinion, switch careers. Don’t wait for the perfect plan. Don’t wait to have enough courage or energy to feel like doing it. Don’t wait for permission. Before it’s too late, do one thing you will regret not trying.