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The gift of being ‘not special’

December 2, 2018 I have been struggling with a feeling that I shared with a friend.  The feeling was discomfort and it came from the idea that at times I have the thought that I’m ‘better than’ someone else.  It was difficult to talk about without wanting to back-track, explain, or justify myself. It can …

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We’re Better at Not Listening Than We Think

November 11, 2018 Listening isn’t that complicated.  It’s just really hard. We have such a powerful drive to be heard and to feel understood that it becomes almost impossible to listen to, much less understand, someone else. At the same time, true listening is a skill we can sharpen with time and practice. In order to …

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Simple, med-free antidote to anxiety

October 28, 2018 Feeling tense, anxious, overwhelmed and out of control? Here’s a simple method to calm yourself, without meds, in literally seconds. Breathe all the way out. That’s it. The usual response when someone expresses anxious feelings is to tell them to take a breath.  Looking for anything that might help, we do exactly …

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No Light Without the Dark

October 14, 2018 Spine surgery two weeks ago has redirected most of my energy toward recovery, leaving me with just enough brain power to pen a few thoughts. Recovery is defined as return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.  I’ve been having a hard time imagining ‘normal’.  Instead of forcing something I …

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Self-reflection doesn’t mean grabbing a mirror

September 30, 2018 Over the last year I have had plenty of time for self-reflection.  I’ve been less mobile due to a car accident that was both a blessing and a curse.  The mixed blessings are that I lost a car I loved, but I have a great new car with every safety feature known …

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You can trust the magic of new beginnings

September 16, 2018  “And suddenly you just know it’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.” — Meister Eckhart What’s really going on between us and those we love?  Why are relationship so hard?  When we’re not sure who we are, or what we stand for, it can get confusing.   When I’m uncomfortable with myself, …

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Your Life is not About You

September 2, 2018 Imperfection and perfection go so hand in hand, and our dark and our light are so intertwined, that by trying to push the darkness or negative aspects of our life to the side…we are preventing ourselves from the fullness of life. – Jeff Bridges – Your life is not about you.  Your …

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Authenticity is Coming Home to Your Best Self

August 19, 2018 Authenticity stems from mental and emotional health.  It reflects qualities that represent maturity, thoughtfulness, and psychological flexibility.  It speaks to an awareness that being true to oneself means being aware of your strengths and limitations, and working to develop characteristics that add to the well-being of others. AUTHENTICITY IS NOT: Telling it …

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6 ways hidden defensiveness can sabotage you

August 5, 2018 Defensiveness can feel like self-protection.  That sounds like a good thing.  Is it always? Sometimes it can be.  When we are in real danger, it’s critical to recognize it and defend ourselves appropriately.  That may mean walking away (or running) to remove ourselves from a dangerous situation, or responding with a firm …

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Envision the world shepherded by heart and mind

July 22, 2018 What would the world look like if it were shepherded by heart AND mind? I read a commencement speech by Pancho Ramos Stierle to the San Francisco Waldorf High School Class of 2018.  He coined the term heartmindfulness.  He seems to understand, with a piercing awareness, the frailty and fragility of our …

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