March 5, 2013
Have you ever worked really hard to change what you know is a self-defeating or unattractive behavior only to find that no one notices? You’ve improved to the point that nine times out of ten you react more healthily than in the past, but the only thing that gets noticed is the 10th time when you fall back into the old behavior. It’s crazy-making when no one notices!!
So if you change and no one notices, have you ever thought that maybe other people are changing all the time and you aren’t noticing them??
The problem is that we’re such creatures of habit. We get an idea in our heads and instead of holding it lightly, allowing for change, we hold onto it like it’s an immutable fact. And we hold on in spite of being presented with new evidence to the contrary right in front of our noses. We don’t really see people as they are. We see people as we’ve decided they are.
So here’s an idea. Meet everyone as though it’s the first time. Drop the stories, the labels, the judgments that keep you from seeing them as they are right this moment, not as who they were last week. Because here’s the truth. They’re not the same person they were last week. Human beings literally change and transform on a moment-to-moment basis. But if we’re holding on to our recycled stories about them, we’ll never meet the new and improved versions.
Anybody you’re willing to start over with? Every day?