January 9, 2014
Lately I’ve been using the words ‘a part of me’ to begin my sentences when I notice I’m struggling with something. Example: ‘a part of me thinks I’m a self-absorbed idiot’, or ‘a part of me wants to give up’, or ‘a part of me thinks I should or shouldn’t feel____’, (insert one of a million words here).
Those four words serve as a reminder that nothing is as black and white as it seems when I’m triggered. They give me the opportunity to step back and see that it’s only ‘a part of me’ that believes a thought, say 5% of me (maybe an elbow’s worth), and that leaves another 95% of me to handle the situation with kindness and gentleness toward myself (and others).
The 95% is able to see what that 5% of me has forgotten. That there are many times when I persevere and follow through, or I lovingly set myself aside for a moment because someone really needs something, or I don’t react with the first thing that comes into my head and instead pause, and decide to keep my mouth shut.
Adding these few words reminds me that a thought is simply a group of words, and its only power and meaning is the meaning and amount of attention I give it. So I’m giving my unhelpful thoughts a lot less attention and power these days. And I seem to have a lot more time to attend to how I want to behave and who I want to be.