June 22, 2017
It’s so easy to see what’s wrong with ‘them’. And once we’ve seen it, talking about it with anyone who will listen, ad nauseam, is a great distraction from how impotent or frustrated we feel.
The boss is an idiot, the guy who voted for the ‘wrong’ candidate and still supports him is ignorant, the child who doesn’t do what we think she should be doing is a disappointment.
Somehow, talking about how flawed they are makes us feel better. For a moment.
Unfortunately, with every disparaging remark we make, we become smaller and appear more impotent. It saps our creativity and motivation. And it reinforces whatever we’re unhappy about.
The trick is to take 100% responsibility for the state of our life and our part in creating it.
Not suggesting you take responsibility for any part other than your own! It’s not your fault you were born with a rather crumbly spine like mine, or for your partner’s habit of always arriving at least 15 minutes late, or for the neighbor’s unmown lawn.
In each case you have a choice. You could blame and complain about a crumbly spine or take responsibility, which usually means taking some kind of action – doing a lot of running in place, morning core strengthening exercises, and eating as much strong bones food as possible.
If your partner is late, if the whining and nagging and temper tantrums haven’t worked, try something else. (Here’s a great resource that will give you ideas for that! It Takes One To Tango.)
If the neighbor’s lawn is making you nuts, ask your neighbors if they mind you mowing it for them while you’re doing yours. Doesn’t hurt to grease the wheels in case you need a favor down the road.
Take responsibility for cleaning up your own act, doing what you can do to improve the situation. No more and no less. Point being, stop kvetching about ‘them’!
Along the lines of taking 100% responsibility for myself, I’d love your help. I want Seedlings to have as much impact as possible. To move people toward responsible and empowering action. It would be helpful to hear how you use Seedlings. Do you share them with others? Are you drawn to particular topics? When you read them are you moved to take action?
What works for you??
Please comment below or send me an email. I value your feedback and will respond to any comments or emails. Many thanks!
truely enjoy your thoughts,an try to insert them in my daily life.very inspiring…….it all must begin with my thinking,,,,,mindfulness,
Thanks Chip! So glad Seedlings resonates. I really appreciate it when someone is able to take something from it that they can apply to their life. I guess that’s my goal every time I write one.
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