September 5, 2013
In my last blog I wrote about your BFF (best friend forever), which is your PFC (prefrontal cortex).
This week let’s look at what may be your worst enemy—drumroll please—your self-image!
Surprised? We’re told from birth on that we need to shore up our self-image and our sense of self, right? Well here’s another one of life’s little paradoxes: the more we try to firm up our sense of self, the more we may be concretizing some of our biggest limitations.
Here’s how it works. If I hold a belief that I’m kind, I’ll never notice when I’m being cruel. If I think I’m a good listener, I won’t see the eyes of the person I’m talking with glaze over. If I believe I’m not judgmental, I won’t notice when I totally annihilate someone who I’ve decided is judgmental…see what I mean?
So here’s a suggestion. Start each day with a clean slate. As best you can drop your ideas about who you are (which are closely related to who you think you should be, or who you wish you were), and simply notice how you behave. And then notice how others respond to your behavior.
If you look closely, your behavior will always tell you who you really are. The good news is that once you see who you really are, then you can stop acting out of it, and decide who you want to be and how you want to behave.
Whether this left you totally confused or made some sense, please leave a comment with your thoughts. They’re so valued.
Totally unrelated, here’s a u-tube video/song by One Republic that reminds me how I want to live each time I listen to it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIC6upazD6c