December 14, 2014

For much of my life I lived small.  As I was growing up we moved many, many times.  It’s only in hindsight I can see that I had a powerful and primary unconscious goal—to sneak in and out of new situations, in and out of life, without drawing too much attention to myself.  I learned to be a shadow person.  I leaked out just enough substance to accomplish what I needed to accomplish to survive.  But I lived small.

But oh man, on the inside!  On the inside I was large.  And vibrant.  And a thinker.  And I laughed and cried loud and hard and long and spontaneously.  And I wondered why the world was like it was, and thought about how it might be different, and dreamed about changing it.

At some point I recognized that living small wasn’t serving me.  And gradually I started making some changes.  I’ve been making changes ever since.  The first time I was consciously aware of making real progress was in my early thirties when a very staid and appropriate boss told me on a performance review that I laughed too loud!

I’ve only just begun to express how I want to impact the world. Harry Bernstein published his first best seller at the age of 96. Check him out on Wikipedia.

How big are you living?

Much love,