December 14, 2014
For much of my life I lived small. As I was growing up we moved many, many times. It’s only in hindsight I can see that I had a powerful and primary unconscious goal—to sneak in and out of new situations, in and out of life, without drawing too much attention to myself. I learned to be a shadow person. I leaked out just enough substance to accomplish what I needed to accomplish to survive. But I lived small.
But oh man, on the inside! On the inside I was large. And vibrant. And a thinker. And I laughed and cried loud and hard and long and spontaneously. And I wondered why the world was like it was, and thought about how it might be different, and dreamed about changing it.
At some point I recognized that living small wasn’t serving me. And gradually I started making some changes. I’ve been making changes ever since. The first time I was consciously aware of making real progress was in my early thirties when a very staid and appropriate boss told me on a performance review that I laughed too loud!
I’ve only just begun to express how I want to impact the world. Harry Bernstein published his first best seller at the age of 96. Check him out on Wikipedia.
How big are you living?