Living Big

December 14, 2014

For much of my life I lived small.  As I was growing up we moved many, many times.  It’s only in hindsight I can see that I had a powerful and primary unconscious goal—to sneak in and out of new situations, in and out of life, without drawing too much attention to myself.  I learned to be a shadow person.  I leaked out just enough substance to accomplish what I needed to accomplish to survive.  But I lived small.

But oh man, on the inside!  On the inside I was large.  And vibrant.  And a thinker.  And I laughed and cried loud and hard and long and spontaneously.  And I wondered why the world was like it was, and thought about how it might be different, and dreamed about changing it.

At some point I recognized that living small wasn’t serving me.  And gradually I started making some changes.  I’ve been making changes ever since.  The first time I was consciously aware of making real progress was in my early thirties when a very staid and appropriate boss told me on a performance review that I laughed too loud!

I’ve only just begun to express how I want to impact the world. Harry Bernstein published his first best seller at the age of 96. Check him out on Wikipedia.

How big are you living?

Much love,

2 comments

  1. Vicki Mills says:

    I resonated with your experiences and ahas! 🙂 My wake up started at 19 when I was told my world wasn’t flat, so to speak — and I started questioning everything! I was 51 when I saw how big and colorful my world really was! (By the way, I have a vibrant laugh too!) Love from Vicki

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