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Living Big

December 14, 2014

For much of my life I lived small.  As I was growing up we moved many, many times.  It’s only in hindsight I can see that I had a powerful and primary unconscious goal—to sneak in and out of new situations, in and out of life, without drawing too much attention to myself.  I learned to be a shadow person.  I leaked out just enough substance to accomplish what I needed to accomplish to survive.  But I lived small.

But oh man, on the inside!  On the inside I was large.  And vibrant.  And a thinker.  And I laughed and cried loud and hard and long and spontaneously.  And I wondered why the world was like it was, and thought about how it might be different, and dreamed about changing it.

At some point I recognized that living small wasn’t serving me.  And gradually I started making some changes.  I’ve been making changes ever since.  The first time I was consciously aware of making real progress was in my early thirties when a very staid and appropriate boss told me on a performance review that I laughed too loud!

I’ve only just begun to express how I want to impact the world. Harry Bernstein published his first best seller at the age of 96. Check him out on Wikipedia.

How big are you living?

Much love,


  1. Vicki Mills says:

    I resonated with your experiences and ahas! 🙂 My wake up started at 19 when I was told my world wasn’t flat, so to speak — and I started questioning everything! I was 51 when I saw how big and colorful my world really was! (By the way, I have a vibrant laugh too!) Love from Vicki

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