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Want To Feel A Little Less Alone?

March 23, 2014

We’re all hardwired with a need to feel connected to others.  When that connection is severed because someone has been judged as ‘the enemy’, and that includes yourself, it usually has the same outcome—when you’re disconnected you’re in some degree of pain.

Here’s the truth.  We’re all way more alike than different.  We all bleed.  At our core we all want to love and understand others.  We all want to feel loved and understood.

So try this mindfulness exercise:  for an entire day, when you pass someone or think of someone who in your mind you’ve made ‘the enemy’, breathe in to “I see you”, breathe out to “you are just like me”.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Especially the ones that start with ‘What the hell are you talking about!!??  They’re just like me!!??  No way, I’d never do what they do, be as bad as they are, act/think/feel/express the way they do!!”

It’s okay.  Start there.  Just try it for a day.  At the end of the day notice if that slight shift in perspective has created a change in how you see or respond to them.  Are you making choices that are a little more elegant?  Do you feel a little wiser, a little bit stronger or more confident?  And most  importantly, do you feel a little more at home in your own skin and a little less alone?

Do Share in the comment box below.

Much love,


  1. Linda H says:

    Sounds like a great exercise. There are still one or two people in my life who have hurt me very deeply, and I find it very difficult to see the Christ in them. Perhaps focusing on what we have in common–and there are things–may help me forgive them. Which I really want to do.

    • Robyn says:

      I’m so with you – I keep trying to start where I am, although there’s a part of me that can so easily fool me into telling myself and believing that I’m further along than I am :). Thanks so much for the heart felt words.

  2. Cindy Avers says:

    Hi Robyn! Happy Spring- at least we can hope for it:-) Some thoughts on your thoughts. I absolutely believe 100% with the Humanistic perspective of the unconditional acceptance of the value of all living beings. I do however, look at behavior as well because if one ignores or excuses behavior that is hurtful or harmful there is a danger of becoming a doormat at best and abused at worst. Boundaries are important. By and large I do try to first search for an empathic understanding of the other person. I also strive to remain mindful of the common humanity we share and walk gently.

    You are so right that we all want to be loved and accepted and understood!


    • Robyn says:

      Yep, knowing where you end and someone else begins is a critical skill. And yes, so agree that it’s helpful to remember that we all share that deep desire to be loved and accepted and understood. If only it were as easy as it sounds :).

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