Permissiveness

June 14, 2015

I’m not talking about the kind of permissiveness where you let your kid terrorize the family because he or she is in charge.

I’m talking about giving yourself permission to be human.

I’ve noticed a theme in the emails coming at me over the last few days.  This is just the short-list of similar titles: Be Vulnerable; Own Your Own Power; Figure Out Your Mission; Know Your Purpose; Live Your Truth; Trust Yourself; Forgive; Open Your Heart

The glaring omission in each of them is the ‘easier said than done’ disclaimer!

Well, here it is.  Yes, all of those are worthy goals or ideals or intentions, but only if you hold them lightly.  The moment you make them shoulds, or musts, or have tos, the natural resistance that is part of being human will show up.  And you’ll think of all the ways you’re not doing any of it, at least not perfectly, and certainly not all the time, so you may even feel depressed and less than you should be, the exact opposite of what the email is wanting for you.

So I’m encouraging you to give yourself permission to not achieve any of them as permanent states.  Because they won’t be.  I don’t care who you are, or how smart you are, there will be those days….right?!  Those days when you can’t even remember why anyone would want you at their party, much less remember what it feels like to own your own power or trust yourself.

It’s ok.  This stuff tends to develop in us when we’re doing things we enjoy.  Those are the times the ahas tend to come – when we’re relaxed and engaged with something that’s making us feel good.  So if you’re not feeling it today, that just means you’re with the the other 99% of us who don’t feel it every day either.

Much love,

2 comments

  1. Chris says:

    What a wonderful sharing with perfect timing. I have been in CA helping one of my daughters, as she just had a new baby. Just trying to help out and not trying to run the “show” I have been wondering what things would be like if I were a fly on the wall watching and listening to what,is going on. ,this week my other daughter can to CA to meet the new baby and have family time. Both daughters have different rules and expectations for their families. I am totally stressed trying to stay out of their parenting. All this has left me with little time for me. I think if I were more relaxed and doing things I like and felt like I were being appreciated, I would feel better. I am trying to go with the flow and live in the moment but with 4 kids under 5 it’s a bit hard to do. Tomorrow I plan on doing something fun for me.

    • Robyn says:

      Yes! Finding the line between not running the show yet wanting to help is wearing! With you in spirit on your fun day. Somehow giving yourself a little appreciation seems like a lovely first step.

Comments are closed.